The Doula with Six Kids
You sure have your hands full!
How do you do it?
Are they all yours?!
These are the things I hear EVERY SINGLE DAY. And every time, I react a bit differently. Sometimes It makes me feel proud. Proud that I am valued as a strong mother. Sometimes it makes me feel foolish. Like other people are making assumptions about me based on the number of kids I have. Sometimes it makes me feel happy. Happy when I look down and see so many people that I love with my whole heart. And sometimes it makes me feel alone. As if I am the only one living this type of life. But the real question of all…
HOW DO YOU DO IT?!
The answer is always the same; I just do. Truth be told, I love the chaos of my big family. Waking up each morning to witness their lives evolve is a great privilege that I don’t take for granted. And being able to be involved in birth work at the same time is just incredible.
Sure, I come home to mountains of laundry after supporting a client in birth. And just like any other parent, its overwhelming.
Finding the balance of six kids and birth work is a constant work in progress. The most helpful thing, I DIDN’T HAVE THEM ALL AT ONCE! Each time we welcome a new child, the older ones, well they get older. They are more independent and willing to help with different things. They take responsibility for their own things, and the younger ones mimic that.
A special “trick” that I have is homeschooling my kids. Not only does this allow for the flexibility in schedules, but it means that I have the unique experience of sharing the things I learn with their curious minds. Birth workers are constantly taking new trainings to continue to learn and gain access to new skills for our clients. Since the COVID 19 pandemic, alot of these trainings have moved to virtual platforms, meaning my kids are always near! They happily watch new birth videos, learn different types of birth presentations, and even participated in the homebirth of my sixth baby.
It is pretty cool to be able to apply my personal experience to my professional life. And OH BOY do I have experience! The running joke is that I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for the last NINE years! I feel pretty comfortable sharing with my clients my personally learned knowledge of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, with the professional trainings I have taken. Its a very unique opportunity!
I am not a super hero.
I do not know it all.
And although I may slink in the door in the early hours of the day after a postpartum overnight shift, and crawl into bed, I still feel like the same pressures and guilt that any other parent would. But that makes my desire to make other parents feel supported even stronger!